Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game…

The 1st of them all and there’s no looking back…

When there’s no looking back and you find yourself reaching up to press that button. To press ‘done’ and have it become live. Live for all the world to see. For anyone, anywhere to have access to what you have put your mind to. Who will be the first to judge? Why? How?
So many levels… Why would anyone put themselves on show like that? Surely the consequences are unknown? Is it the risk I’m so willingly allowing myself to take? Why not I ask. I’m not the first to put words onto paper. I’m not the only being who wants to address every day issues. I’ll never say I have the answers. I’ll never say I’m right in it all. I can only hope that in the midst of all the words I will so freely write for all to see at their will- that one person engages with my dialogue, one will see the light from what they’ve read, one will wait eagerly until the next chapter and that one who reaches out to show their support.

Here’s To hoping…

I always classed myself as quite shy. Fairly good to get along with(depending my mood) but still… an easy going type of gal. I will always smile at anyone walking by me in the street, supermarket or encounter, anyone who claps their eyes on me and anyone I come into contact with while growing up. Always made it my mission in life to just be… you know… polite. It’s the basics in respect, isn’t it? So why would we move forward in attempting to live in a world where we don’t show people respect? I have since learnt that some people don’t deserve your time or day and that everyone who puts their mind to it can and does in fact effect your day in some way, shape or form. It’s the notion that; ‘life’s what you make it’, you know, that line you will have heard your parents tell you at one time, or a teacher while going throughout school and education. I don’t feel it is what you make it. I think it’s definitely worth stating the obvious in that there are people out there, no matter what they long, hope or even wish for, that never see the other side of those empty dreams. It’s all about playing the right card at the right time. Being where you need to be to succeed. Nothings a given and everything quick to change so shouldn’t be taken for granted. It’s about choosing wisely and sometimes taking a risk. Who actually knows what’s truly the right way in which all us humans are to live? I get there are laws, rules and regulations in that we all need to follow. These are to aid in us all living somewhat civil lifestyles and to get along without being savages. However, these do not provide us with the meaning of why we’re all here or what role we really play as individuals that chose to live by the hour (or even the minute). Ones without a future plan ahead of them because looking any further than the end of the day, seems too much of a hardship. Too emotional. Too impossible to see nothing but darkness lay in front of you. Too demotivating as your consequences of previous experiences in your life present themselves so freely and non of them positive. Is it normal to feel emotions? Is it normal to hate where you are, where you are headed and where you’ve come from? Is it normal to feel such highs, followed by such lows? Is it normal to be surrounded by so many bodies but feel so alone? It is possible to be hurting for what seems like forever?

Why?
Who understands me?

What are my options?

Who can help?

Why would they want to help?

Why am I having to seek help when it’s not my fault…?

Life is damn hard and it ain’t getting easier any time soon… This is just the beginning of the insight on that of a seemingly ordinary girl, living an ordinary life, amongst ordinary people.

‘Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game!’